♥ Good People Exist

This time last year I was living in an all consumed state of anxiety, stress and paranoia. The root cause was so blatantly obvious, and my gut knew it before my brain did - but it was equal parts denial and oblivion to how bad it had really gotten, that held me hostage to my situation. Hindsight is 20/20 - it wasn't until months after everything came to a screeching halt, that I was finally able to recognize and call it what it was - an emotionally abusive relationship. By this point, I felt free, and was finding my happiness - but it still felt like something was missing. The truth was, even from another country - I had become codependent on my ex-partner for the majority of my social interactions, most of which were unhealthy regardless. I had been convinced to doubt everyone’s motives, unintentionally distanced myself from several close friends, and certainly hadn't made any new ones. I was more isolated than ever.

I almost felt guilty for hitting those same friends up, the ones I hadn't seen in months - who was I to think I could just come and go from their lives? But i'll tell you what, if that thought had even crossed any of their minds, they never once expressed it. We picked right back up where we left off, but there were new friends, new relationships, new jobs and interests that understandably deserved equal amounts, if not more, of their time. I wanted to meet new people, but quite honestly.. I wasn’t sure how to. Luckily for me, at the time when I needed it most, someone else made the first move. A simple interaction on Instagram (no shame, this is the social media era after all) lead to, “drinks sometime?”. I knew I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship, but I’ve never believed in the “men and woman can’t be just friends” notion, so I agreed. Okay... well actually, let's be real - I probably read his message, didn’t respond, re-read it, ran through every possible outcome in my head, discussed with my best friend, re-re-read his message, typed out a response, deleted it, and then agreed. 

On the day of, I remember being nervous, but excited. One part of me wanted to know everything about this person – what’s their story? Their favourite colour? What is their family like? And how do they feel about bananas? But the other part of me was like, what if I have nothing to say? How do I know what their intentions are? AND WHAT IF THEY THINK IM WEIRD??? As it turns out, the person I was going to meet addressed very similar reservations. These feelings really aren’t so uncommon – I would even dare to say, most of us feel them on some level. Have you ever Googled something that produced zero results? None, zip, nadda, nill? I’m willing to bet, no. Because, as alone as we often feel, the reality is - there are hundreds, if not thousands and millions of other people feeling the exact. same. way. We as humans tend to think our characteristics, interests and experiences are unique, but to be frank – they’re not. This isn't to say that any of those things are invalid - but it's exactly why you might find yourself resonating with some part of this post. You've been here, you've done that. The combination of them however, is what makes each of us who we are, wonderfully different and exciting to get to know. In the words of Dave Grohl, "Nobody is you, and that is your power". Now that I was equip with this new found comfort, I put on a brave face, committed to the importance of continuing to spend time in good company ..and my god, the universe delivered.

I’ve spent the past 6 months meeting so many new people, and reconnecting with old friends. Some of whom I see regularly, and others I’ve already lost contact with. But I’ve come to accept that this is okay, that everyone who enters your life has a purpose, and contributes in different ways. Like my ex, though through ways I would never wish on my enemies - taught me lessons on love and loyalty, and the individual above who gave me the confidence to put myself out there again. This isn’t a sad post about loss, in fact it’s quite the opposite. It’s a celebration of people – good people, and a personal dedication to the ones who have shaped part of my life.  I've realized that humans are more kind than we give them credit for. Their intentions are better. Their hearts bigger. We've grown accustom to vile people making headlines, and we claim things like, "my faith in humanity is restored!" when we see the occasional feel food story. But truth be told, there are good people all around us, and they are right in front of us if we are willing to make room for them. They will be old friends, and new friends. Acquaintances and strangers. People who will give you the space you want, and the acceptance you need even more. People you will share a bed with, or nothing more than a laugh. And people who will go out of their way to pick you up (literally and figuratively) when you're having a bad day.

Whether you resonate with being in a toxic relationship, the fear of making new friends, both or none of the above, let this be your takeaway - good people exist. Great people even. Appreciate them. Cherish them. Remind them, and be them.

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